⚰ What's so scary about death? 💀
This question came up at a local Death Cafe* last week. It inspired a lively discussion where people shared a variety of reasons for keeping death at arms length.
❓One person shared that not knowing what's on the other side is what makes death so scary for them. Worrying about that unknown future causes them tension and distress, and it keeps them from being in the present.
Someone at the table offered a quote in response:
"Death is a journey with an unknown destination."
It reminded me that ambiguity is a hard thing for most of us to make sense of and be at peace with.
🛑 Another offered that death is the only thing in this life that we truly go through alone, and that's what makes it hard for him.
I wanted to see what reasons others might share, so I kept my mouth shut. Had I spoken up, I would have offered that LIFE is no different. No one is with us for the entirety of our life. No one will know every single person we know, or have every experience we have. No one else lives inside our head or has our exact body, priorities, or values. No one processes the world the way we do.
It's the argument I use for why it's so important to get to know yourself and to make friends with your inner devils and angels. It's why coaching is so valuable!
✨ Other people shared that death is scary because it means they will cease to exist.
Some found this distressing because it means no longer being with the people, things, or experiences they care deeply about. They're not ready to go, and their suffering comes from the anticipation of losing their life as they know it.
Others who shared the same fear came at it from the other side—them ceasing to exist means that others will be in pain in the wake of the loss. They lamented bringing suffering to others.
What's your take? Is death scary or not scary??
And what about it makes it that way for you?
There isn't a right answer. But it's worth considering, because your answers hint at what matters most to you in life AND in death.
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*At Death Cafes, people gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death. If you're curious to learn more or find one near you, check out: https://deathcafe.com/what